It's a Troll Thing
by Michael Lockheart
Summary: John comes to the meteor instead of staying with Jade. Karkat tells him what happened to Vriska. John/Karkat friendship, one-sided Karkat/John.


**Karkat****'****s ****Point ****of ****View****.**

"What?"

John Egbert- the short, annoying human I indirectly created- was acting like I hadn't spoken clearly. He was in his blue God Tier outfit, with his wind insignia over its chest. He had come to the meteor and left Jade with Davesprite on the ship- one of the lenses of his glasses had been cracked at some point, and he still absolutely refused to believe what I was telling him.

Not that I liked to. The hurt in his eyes was apparent, but sugarcoating wasn't going to help a damn thing.

"Vriska's dead." I repeated.

John's face fell. "...When?"

It was the first time- in all the time that I've watched him- that he seemed genuinely depressed.

"It was just a little bit before the Scratch," I said, looking to my right, "Tez didn't give me all the details, but she had to kill her."

"Terezi...what...?"

"It's a troll thing," I said, closing my eyes and sighing, "It's not something I can adequately explain to you, Egbert."

I was tempted to shout at him. I was tempted to call him a fuckass, a moronic ignoramus, but-

I just couldn't. He looked too sad, and I just didn't want to kick him when he was down.

John's depression isn't something I can easily describe. He looked so fucking defeated, seriously- I just wanted to give him a hug or something but, knowing him, he'd get the wrong idea.

"But...Terezi helped me out, and..."

"It's not that Terezi wanted to kill her," I muttered, "It's that she really didn't have a choice but to. Tez can, uh, see the future. Shit like that, I don't know how to explain...and if she hadn't killed her, Bec Noir would've come here and killed everybody- me, Gamzee, Kanaya-"

"Okay." John cut me off. I couldn't see his eyes- his head was tilted down and his voice was trembling. "Does this...meteor have any rooms I could stay in? I just...I just wanna think, alright?"

"Come on." I walked towards the transportalizer- we were, as I failed to mention earlier- on top of the meteor- John had arrived through Jade, you see. Before I told him the news, he had assured me that he was going to send a message in a bucket- but I still think he was bluffing. He wouldn't pull that shit, right?

While I had been speaking to John, Dave, Rose, and the rest had already left- so we were alone when we stepped onto the transportalizer. The transportalizer knew where I wanted to go, and in a flash, we were in a dim hallway at some remote location in the meteor.

I'd watched many human movies- it was something you could liken to a hotel, I guess. Each door in the hallway- both sides of the hall had transportalizers, and both ends were, well, dead. I opened a door that I was sure hadn't been taken by anybody, and I indicated for John to go inside.

The room was plain. It lacked a window, but it possessed a human bed- don't ask me why, I still don't fucking know- a carpeted floor, and a desk with a computer like the literally thousands of others littered around the meteor. The room, of course, had a gray-and-black color scheme.

I hoped it wouldn't bother the human. Don't they like brighter colors?

"Thanks." John muttered. He walked into the room and crashed, face-first, into the bed. His face was buried in the pillow.

"...You alright, Human Egbert?"

John didn't respond.

I sighed. "I'll come by and check on you later. You can come out and talk to the rest of us on your own, if you want- you know how to use a transportalizer. Anyways, uh...later."

I shut the door behind me.

I was going to go to the transportalizer and find something else to do on the meteor, but I heard something from within the room.

_No __way__. __Come __on__, __Egbert __doesn__'__t__-_

I heard it again. Louder. Unmistakable.

I leaned back against the door.

The Heir of Breath was crying.

I closed my eyes and sighed.

Growing up is hard. Growing up is hard and nobody understands.

_Later__._

"Karkat?"

I was laying on the cold, hard floor and quickly pulled myself up.

I had fallen asleep in front of John's door, apparently. Wow, I must've looked like a fucking moron.

I looked up at the human. He didn't look remotely sad- his trademark smile had returned, actually- and I was actually momentarily cheered up by this development.

Wait. Cheered up?

Why the fuck?

John pulled me up from the floor. "Why were you sleeping there?"

"I, uh," I looked around nervously- fuck, I've never been good at making excuses- "Fainted."

"You fainted?"

"Yes."

"You were curled up in front of my door."

"It's a troll thing."

"...If you say so. Anyways, uh, what do you wanna do?" John gave a happy, closed-eyes grin.

"The meteor's kind of boring as fuck." I paused. "Well, what about Rose? Kanaya? Dave? You met them yet?"

"Uh, no-"

"Come on, then." I started walking away from him again, indicating for him to follow me- I don't know, there was something I liked about getting John to follow me everywhere.

And, of course, he followed me without a second thought.

I guess that was just in his nature.

We stepped onto the transportalizer and ended up in the library- neither Dave or Terezi were around, thank fucking Gog- Rose and Kanaya were, however, and they were sitting at the table absorbed in two massive tomes that contained information that would doubtlessly only serve to irritate the fuck out of me in three years.

"John?" Rose was the first one to turn back, and she gave John a little smile.

"...Rose?"

Wow, human Egbert. She's the only human girl on this meteor- who the fuck else could it be?

Rose stood from the table and walked over to John. Funnily enough, she was actually taller than him- she had to bend down a little to give him a hug. John being John, he returned it with the same kind of friendly affection I hated him for.

And I felt jealous. Don't fucking judge me, I couldn't control it.

After a few seconds too long, they pulled back from each other- and I was sort of regretting pressing it into the human's head that he _had_ to marry the girl.

"Who're you?" John pointed over at Kanaya, who turned around and gave him a strange look.

"Kanaya." she responded simply.

"Have we met?"

"Well, yes. I spoke to you a few times on Trollian."

"Trollian? What?"

"Oh, yeah. You used Pesterchum. Don't you remember? I was asking about Rose and you-"

John laughed. "Oh, I remember that." he gave a victorious grin and did a fist pump. "I am the pranking _master_."

Rose gave a sigh, and Kanaya looked even more confused.

John, for some reason, decided to do a windy thing.

Unfortunately for him, this windy thing did not gain Kanaya's approval.

Okay, so it seemed like he was trying to do it to pull yet another prank- a poke on the shoulder, he later told me- but instead it toppled over a pile of books, which, due to their sheer volume, knocked Kanaya out of her chair and to the floor.

Kanaya's many things. Polite. Much, much nicer than I am.

"Oh, God, I-"

Kanaya looked up at him with a glare.

John was absofuckinglutely terrified.

He had good reason to be. Kanaya had her lipstick out and applied some to her lips- something that confused John greatly, actually-

But he gave a squeak of terror when it turned into a huge, white chainsaw.

I've never known Kanaya to be impulsive. She's always seemed calm and collected- really, the only time I've seen her lose her shit was when she chainsawed Eridan in half- but that was justified, you know. He did kill her.

All John did was knock over some books, though.

And this apparently _pissed __her __off__._

She gave a rather un-Kanaya roar and ran at him, holding her chainsaw above her head and revving it up.

My reaction was instinctual.

A good friend of mine was running at a potential kismespirit- wait what, that's not a word- with intent to kill. God Tier or not, I had a feeling that John wouldn't much appreciate being disemboweled.

So I conjured my sickle and moved.

John raised his arms above his head like he thought that would stop a fucking chainsaw, and Kanaya was ready to swing it, too-

I blocked the blow with my sickle, and sparks flew in every fucking direction from the point of impact. The chain, you know.

Kanaya was surprised.

I wasn't going to hurt her, but she wasn't about to hurt him, either.

I pulled my sickle sideways, knocking Kanaya off balance- and using a move I had learned from Egbert's many shitty cinematic recommendations, I spun and kicked her in the side, knocking her to the floor.

Her chainsaw flew out of her hand- and when it hit the ground, it turned back into the lipstick container and rolled across the floor.

Kanaya landed on her back, staring at me with surprise.

Comprehension dawned on her face after a moment or so, though. Kanaya was understanding like that. Sylph and all.

I dispelled my sickle and turned around. John peeked from behind his crossed arms.

"You alright?" I asked.

He nodded. I saw his eyes again- and I noticed something.

There wasn't any fear. But there wasn't any happiness, either- I supposed what Kanaya just did might have snuffed it out, but I had the feeling it'd been like that before she went momentarily apeshit and tried to cut him to pieces. He was sad. Depressed as fuck. But hiding it. Hiding it behind a facade as transparent as my fucking excuses about my blood color.

I stared directly into his eyes.

He knew I was staring. He stared back. He gave a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes at all- they were still cold, still hurt.

And I didn't like to see him like that.

I dunno, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I made a couple of steps and I gave him a hug. A tight one.

"It's alright." I muttered, "You'll see her again someday."

He trembled.

"I'm serious," I said, "We've been going through dream bubbles- I'm pretty sure we'll be meeting up with her at some point. You can talk things through with her when that time comes, alright? Just...don't be so fuckin' whiny about things, alright? That's...that's my thing."

John gave a little laugh and returned the hug. He embraced me tightly, and after a few moments, I wondered if he was going to let go.

Not that I wanted him to.

He buried his face in my shoulder and didn't say a word.

I sighed and hugged the human tighter.

Yeah, we definitely wouldn't be kismesises. That wouldn't work out at all. I can't bring myself to hate him after I've gotten to know him, and I don't think he even has the emotional capacity to hate somebody anyways.

It was then that I realized I had fallen victim to that human disease called love.

I wasn't going to make a move on John, though. I've watched enough movies to know that hitting on somebody while they're mourning is kind of a fucking stupid idea.

So I'd let him heal. I'd help him heal.

And maybe, if I was lucky, he'd come to me in the end.

**Author's Note: So, I wrote this randomly in GDocs while a friend watched me. I might continue it, or I might leave it as-is- depending on what feedback I receive, of course. I know that Karkat seems to be acting OOC, but I like to believe John had that kind of effect on him. Hope you enjoyed.**


End file.
